Ever wondered how to avoid social media from ruining your relationship

You might want to lay off of social media—for
your relationship’s sake. People who use
Facebook more than once a day are more likely
to report relationship conflicts arising from
social media, according to a new study in the
Journal of Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social
Networking. And even worse—those conflicts
had a significant correlation with negative
relationship outcomes, like cheating, breaking
up, or getting divorced.
Researchers surveyed 205 Facebook users about
how often they use the site, if they’ve had
Facebook-related conflicts with a current or
former partner, and if these conflicts ever led to
cheating or breaking up. On average, people
were using Facebook daily, so the researchers
looked at any users who logged on more often
than that. The result: People who spent more
time on the site had more Facebook-related
conflicts and negative relationship outcomes.
One noteworthy finding: these results only held
for couples in relationships of three years or less
—so it may be the case that Facebook use is
most threatening for less-matured bonds.
“Previous research has shown that the more a
person in a romantic relationship uses
Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor
their partner’s Facebook activity more
stringently, which can lead to feelings of
jealousy,” says lead study author Russell
Clayton, doctoral candidate at the University of
Missouri. “Also, our study found that excessive
Facebook users are more likely to connect or
reconnect with other Facebook users, including
previous partners, which may lead to emotional
and physical cheating.”
But you don’t need to deactivate your account
to have a healthy relationship. Follow these
rules to make sure social media habits aren’t
sabotaging your bond:
Rule #1: Avoid the premature relationship-
status change Relationship experts agree that
the worst social media faux pas is becoming
“Facebook official” before you’re actually
official. “You need to have that conversation
before you change it,” says Wendy Walsh, PhD,
author of The 30-Day Love Detox. You should
also hold off on posting about a date or sharing
photos of you two together before you’ve
become a couple. “When a relationship is in its
fragile dating stage, it’s very important to have
privacy. Intimacy needs privacy to grow,” says
Walsh.
Rule: #2: Stop mindlessly browsing In this
study, just logging more time on Facebook was
linked with more conflict. So it’s smart to limit
your daily posting and tweeting—especially if
you’re often sneaking a peak at your newsfeed
while you’re together. Even if you’re just
mindlessly scrolling through your feed while
watching TV with your partner, it can give off
the impression that they’re not as important to
you, says Christie Hartman, PhD, author of Find
the Love of Your Life Online . “Be aware of what
you’re paying attention to,” says Hartman. “If
they start complaining or showing annoyance,
it’s a sign that you’ve gone too far.”
Rule #3: Log off when you’re upset If you just
had a fight or you’re going through a rough
patch, step away from the computer (or your
phone). Since your newsfeed can be filled with
everything from humblebragging couples to
photos of your (fitter than ever) ex, it can be
filled with landmines that make you feel bad
about your relationship—or worse. “It’s really
easy to log on and imagine that there might be a
bigger, better deal out there,” says Walsh. Plus,
you may end up shooting off a passive-
aggressive rant that you’ll later regret, says
Hartman.
Rule #4: Friend exes with caution One of the
riskiest features of Facebook is that it makes it
super easy to connect and communicate with an
ex or old crush, which is why the common
debate—can exes stay friends?—is only
amplified online.
While you probably don’t want to make a point
of friending an ex after you’ve started dating a
new person, it’s important to tread carefully
even if one or both of you are already friends
with your exes. Stay cautious about your
interactions with them, says Walsh. Her
suggestion for staying on your toes: “Imagine
that someone has the ability to cut and paste
whatever you type and post it publicly.” The
bottom line: Don’t be fooled by a false sense of
privacy online.
Rule #5: Brag a little bit Don’t worry: Not all
social media habits are relationship kryptonite.
In fact, couples who regularly post profile
pictures with their partners and share things
about their relationship online are also more
likely to feel happier about their bonds,
according to a new study in the journal Social
Psychological and Personality Science .  Hartman
says that a little bragging online is totally
healthy for your relationship: “It shows that
you aren’t on Facebook ignoring your partner—
you’re including them.” So feel free to tweet
about your boyfriend’s awesome promotion or
Instagram the flowers he surprised you with.
Just don’t go overboard, warns Hartman, or it
won’t seem sincere.